The Naked Advice

with Model & Writer Liz LaPoint

Liz: “I believe in body positivity and self-acceptance, and a healthy attitude toward nudity is sorely needed here in the U.S. Too many people instantly equate nudity with pornography, which I think says more about them than it does about the person who is nude. I (and thousands of other people) have posed nude for artistic endeavors and we are clearly comfortable in our own skin, and those who aren’t sometimes judge.

That said, I find nudists more interesting, because for them being naked is not just for art or sex!

So let me start by asking, what does it mean to be a nudist?”

Sophie:For me it means to live fully exposed. Both in body and spirit. Clothes are just a mask that hides our true self. We are not Ralph Lauren or Prada, we are flesh, bone, and spirit. Being naked means being true to yourself and to the people around you.”

Liz: “What’s the biggest misconception about nudism?”

Sophie: “That we are nothing but exhibitionist perverts. That we are naked because we want people looking and for easy access for the public orgies we must have all the time. This couldn’t be further from the truth!”

L: “What’s the difference between nudism and naturism?”

S: “Is there a difference? Nudism feels natural. And Naturism involves being nude. If there is a difference I’m not aware of it.”

L: “What first drew you to nudism, and how long have you been a nudist?”

S: “My mother raised my sisters and I in the lifestyle. My father was always traveling and because it was just us girls, we didn’t see the point of putting on clothes. I guess we weren’t really “Nudists” just 4 females who loved being naked around the house, in the garden or at the beach. I’ve always been a nudist and I will continue to be a nudist. I don’t understand clothes, and I don’t like wearing them. If I do wear clothes I keep them light and airy. My skin needs to be free!”

L: “Have you ever stayed at a nudist resort or commune, and if so, what was that like?”

S: “No, but I would love to. I spent time on a commune and I was fully naked most of the time, but it wasn’t an official nudist commune. It was a little awkward for some of the residents, but most of them loved my lifestyle and some became more comfortable with their own bodies because of it.”

L: “Has anyone ever treated you differently after learning you’re into nudism?”

S: “My biggest trouble is from the people who think I’m looking for sex all the time. I become subhuman to them. Men have seen me on the beach or other nude approved areas and touched my butt, or verbally harassed me. Made proposals and got mad at me if I rejected their advances. I guess they couldn’t believe a young naked female wasn’t dying to have sex with them. I’ve had friends who have not wanted to spend time with me after they learned. When I was little I was known as the naked girl at school. They didn’t come to my birthday party. My sisters and I were homeschooled most of the time partially because of that and because we moved a lot. That said, I did gain a few friends who thought nudism was cool. Most of their parents didn’t know what happened at my house, but I was glad to convert a few.”

L: “What would you say is the most surprising thing about living a nudist lifestyle?”

S:How totally cool nudist kids and people who grew up nudist are. Most nudist kids don’t judge bodies and don’t hate their own. They are taught young that everyone is naked under their clothes and a naked body is nothing to fear.”

Follow Sophie on
Twitter: @TheNudeWriter
Word Press: https://thenudewriter.wordpress.com/
Writers Cafe: http://www.writerscafe.org/TheNudeWriter

sophie-rolstad

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Great question! Thanks for inspiring me to blog about this 😉

My husband and I have had this discussion many times. We have concerns, like any decent parent does, about our child being bullied for having the audacity to be born to free-spirited, artistic parents. It’s not because we see anything wrong with posing nude for photography and other forms of art (or pornography for that matter), but because we are aware of the vast numbers of ignorant, sheltered, judgmental people there are and the small-minded views they pass down to their children.

We are also vegetarians and wonder if he’ll have to deal with stupid jokes and ignorant attacks as much as we have in the past. Just like anything else that runs counter to cultural norms and doesn’t conform to expectations, there are going to be people who enjoy berating/bullying/ridiculing/ostracizing those who are not exactly like them, instead of embracing differences and wanting to learn from them.

Your question implies that you see something wrong with nudity, but perhaps that’s not true and you’re simply wondering. But your statement that it would be “worse” for our kid’s friends to discover the nude photographic art (young kids shouldn’t have unfettered access to the internet, so I’m assuming you mean teens) implies you think the friends would absolutely tease him for his parents being totally in love and producing images that happened to include nudity (my husband is my photographer, in case you didn’t know). I’m hoping he befriends good kids and not bullies.

How did supermodel Cindy Crawford handle her Playboy magazine spread after she had kids? Or the countless other photographers, actors, and models who’ve either photographed the nude form or posed in the buff for various magazines and had children later? I’ve noticed some celebrities who’ve achieved success from producing movies/art/songs meant only for adults go on later to create things their children could watch/look at/listen to.

Bottom line: Live the life you want to live, because people will judge you no matter what you do.

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Tom wrote: “I have this fantasy and I wonder if it is wrong or perverted? I have joined a few MILF sites and I see these incredibly sexy older women in their 40s and 50s having sex for the very first time on film with young black men. It gets me very aroused and I fantasize that she is my mother. I’m 18 and she is divorced and single. She always has on short skirts, nylons, and high heels that show off her amazing legs. One day she catches me masturbating to her video. I’m very embarrassed but aroused more than ever. I can see she is embarrassed as well so I beg to have sex with her just one time and after we can pretend it never happened.”

Liz says: Is your fantasy “wrong or perverted”? Maybe, but what matters is actual behavior in real life. Sexual fantasies can be “wrong” but as long as they stay fantasies we are okay. I’m aware that for many, repeated fantasizing can strengthen their desire to act out their fantasies, but there’s nothing in this particular scenario that suggests you would commit a crime or actually try to have sex with your mother.

But to get a second opinion on this somewhat delicate matter, I consulted psychotherapist Rob Peach (sextherapytoronto.org). Here is what he had to say, Tom: “We call our fantasies ‘fantasy’, for a reason… they are thoughts, desires and ideas that exist in our imaginations. Not everything we think or feel is a reflection of desires we intend to, or would be comfortable to, experience in real life. Some fantasies, like the incest themed ones your writer describes, can bring about confusion and guilt when they are inconsistent with one’s own and societal values. However, fantasies are highly subjective, changeable and nuanced and, therefore, not accurate measures of self worth or personal integrity, nor are they predictive of our behaviours.”

So there you have it, Tom. I would like to add that the very fact that you wrote showing concern about this sexual fantasy shows you’re probably not cuckoo for cocoa puffs. 😉

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Thomas wrote: “I lost my virginity a little more than 2 years ago and hadn’t had sex since, until last week I had sex with a girl and I feel I performed poorly. I however feel a huge burden lifted off my shoulders. Ya see, both of these times I really wasn’t in a relationship so I feel like this is less meaningful for me. Should I feel good that I ended a dry streak? Or shame cause I don’t feel any closer to what I want.”

Liz says: Neither, although it’s really not up to me (or anyone else) to tell you how you “should” feel. I say neither, though, because I understand why you don’t feel good about the last time you had sex, but encouraging you to feel ashamed of it would be ridiculous and shame is not usually an emotional response that leads to anything healthy.

As far as you believing you performed poorly, you probably did and that’s okay! No one is great in the bedroom at first! Every single one of us can look back on our first few times and recognize mistakes we made or what was missing. Especially with guys, who oftentimes are so nervous with anticipation that it affects their ability to stay erect. In other words, you’re normal!

It sounds like you know what you want: a loving relationship. That’s great! I encourage you to look at your first experiences with sex as learning lessons that will help you be better in bed with your future mate. Sex, like most things, is something you improve upon with experience, not something some people are just talented in right off the bat. However, I’m not suggesting you sleep around to gain more experience (since casual sex clearly does not make you happy), just that you look at the experience you’ve already gained with a positive attitude. Once you’ve found someone, you can learn even more in the security of a loving relationship.

I understand why you felt relieved to no longer belong to the V Club. Sex is a big deal, and when we finally experience it we’re not wondering anymore what it’s like or worried our peers will make fun of us. Especially for guys, I imagine it can feel like the weight of the world on your shoulders!

 

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Romantic Comedies/Dramas/Thrillers are usually too cheesy and ridiculous to me. Love Actually? Way overrated. There’s Something About Mary? Dumb humor, barely passable. The Wedding Singer? Hated it. You get the idea. I agree with almost every accusation hurled at romantic films: they perpetuate unhealthy notions of love and the idea that any guy can convince a woman to go out with him or fall in love with him if he’s just persistent enough. Stalker alert! In real life, if we’re not interested in you no amount of harassment will change that. Just as they serve the female fantasy of love, they serve the male fantasy, perhaps even more dangerously so.

Fifty Shades Darker (and its predecessor Fifty Shades Grey) will only be viewed as a fascinating look into S&M by the most sheltered and conservative among us. It is hardly an accurate or in-depth window into the sex lives of sadomasochists. The film is S&M Lite, playing it very safe with what sexual activities the 2 main characters engage in and focuses more on their complicated love story. Just in time for Valentine’s Day, of course.

In one scene, Anastasia refers to Christian as a “dominant” and he is quick to correct her, “I’m a sadist”. I suspect the filmmakers (or the author) are aware that audiences couldn’t handle witnessing what a sadist actually enjoys doing in the bedroom, because there is not a single sex scene that proves his self-declaration accurate. Since the filmmakers wanted to focus on their love affair, I’m sure they realized a scene with Christian gagging Anastasia and hog-tying her so he can burn her with hot wax and listen to her try to scream would kind of kill the whole “love” vibe for mainstream audiences.

All that said, I actually enjoyed this sequel more than the first. I never read the books (only nonfiction for me) so film adaptations of fiction stories are never ruined for me because “the book was SO much better”. Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson do well in their roles, and their chemistry was hot. I believed them as a couple, but not necessarily their love.

I could’ve indulged in more details but I’d rather not have a “Spoilers” warning at the beginning of my review 😉

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Liz: “I discovered you and your website, www.sextherapytoronto.org back in November of 2015 when I needed to defer to someone with professional experience in treating sexual dysfunctions and other issues. I had received a letter from a foot fetishist who wanted to know how to “get rid of” his fetish. Your website provided me with great information for my letter-writer, and you’ve been helping me ever since.

Your practice is based in Toronto, Canada. Do you see any differences, generally speaking, between the U.S. and Canada regarding attitudes toward sexuality, gender roles, and nudity?”

Rob Peach:I think that Canadians are typically more progressive, accepting and more mindful of the sexual rights of others than Americans are and there is some good evidence to back that up. We decriminalized homosexuality in 1969, we threw out all laws related to abortion in 1988 and we were the fourth country in the world to allow same sex / trans identified individuals to legally marry in 2005. These laws are a reflection of our values and political will. And, I don’t need to point out where the US is on these issues (let alone where things seem to be going these days…).”

Liz: “What inspired you to study human sexuality and become a psychotherapist?”

Rob Peach: “I don’t think that I was ‘inspired’ in any way, to be honest. I needed a job after grad school and I was offered one working with men who had been convicted of sexual offences. Lucky for me, in this job I not only learned a lot about sex, but found my professional ‘home’.”

L: “What was the best and/or worst advice about sex and relationships you heard when you were growing up?”

R: “I grew up on a VERY WASPY household. Sex and relationship issues were not dinner table talk, so actually can’t recall receiving any direct messages or advice about sex and intimacy.”

L: “Why do sexual fetishes and paraphilias seem to be more common in men than women?”

R:Good question. And, as soon as I figure that out, I will let you know and then collect my Nobel Prize. In the meantime, we just accept it as fact that men typically are more likely to have paraphilias and fetishes.”

L: “A lot of my readers and YouTube viewers with a fetish for feet or navels express confusion about why they’re labeled fetishists when men who admit they have “a thing” for breasts or women’s butts aren’t. Is there a difference, or do they have a point?”

R:So, a ‘fetish’ is when someone has an erotic attraction to an object (or body part) that is NOT conventionally associated with or seen as sexual. Navels and feet are not typically experienced as erotic, so it is seen as a fetish and referred to as ‘partialism’. It’s not deviant, just different.”

L: “What’s the most common issue presented to you in your practice?”

R: “The most common issue I see in my practice is likely erectile dysfunction. We have fallen, hook line and sinker, for the idea (and myth) that men should be ‘rock hard and ready to go’ at all times. Not being able to experience or maintain erections during sexual contact is, therefore, seen as dysfunction despite the fact that, in reality, arousal, for both men and women, has a natural ebb and flow. If a woman stated that she achieves differently levels of physiological arousal during sex, we would accept that without judgment. Men, however, are much more likely to label this as a problem or as indicator of ED.”

L: “Culturally speaking, what would you say negatively impacts or influences our adult sex lives the most?”

R:I’m going to give you essentially the same answer to this question that I offered for question #1, progressive, informed and evidenced based social policy creates opportunity for individuals to develop healthy attitudes towards sexuality. Oppressive, fear based institutional policies informed by ignorance and discrimination cause disordered attitudes and values towards sexuality on the individual level. Having individuals in positions of power who endorse racist, misogynistic and conservative values hurts us all.”

L: “I completely agree. I researched and discussed what’s called Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction for one of my YouTube videos last year. I shared anecdotal evidence for its existence but also explained it’s not a confirmed diagnosis by scientific standards. What is your professional opinion on PI ED?”

R: “Spending hours online, watching porn and masturbating is not a healthy way to develop rewarding and satisfying sexual relationships with others. The absence of engaging with partners and exploring your erotic self with people you find attractive can negatively impact your ability to have healthy sexual experiences.

Having said that, let’s wait for the science on this one… keeping in mind that unproven and anecdotal theories of sexuality are often funded and promoted by those with phobic and conservative agendas.”

L: “What would be the ideal way to respond to your mate/spouse if they open up and disclose to you that they have a sexual fetish?”

R: “I think that people should react to a spouse or partner who shares a fetish the same way they would react to learning anything new about someone they care about. People should be themselves and react in an authentic way. Honest and direct conversations make for healthy relationships.”

L: “The eternal Nature versus Nurture question: do our sexual proclivities exist naturally (or genetically) and we discover them as we grow up, or does something happen to us that causes us to develop atypical sexual desires?”

R: “Nature. All the way. Sometimes, in our search for understanding ‘why’ we like what we like, we might look back and ‘cherry pick’ examples of incidents or experiences where we became aware of our erotic selfs and mislabel these events as causal of what we find arousing in our efforts to make meaning of our sexual desires.”

L: “Do people tend to open up to you at parties and gatherings when they hear what you do for work? What’s the most interesting story you’ve heard about someone’s sex life?”

R:I make a habit of NOT telling people what I do for a living. So does my spouse, who is a plastic surgeon. Neither one of us like or seek attention and, most importantly, if people are asking me about my work, I don’t get to learn about them or their lives.”

L: “And last but not least, was the Marquis de Sade just a misunderstood guy persecuted because people were ignorant, or was he justifiably imprisoned? If he lived today, would he run a BDSM dungeon or be a serial rapist/murderer?”

R: “I think that the Marquis had intention and desire to push the social and sexual conventions of the time… and ruffled a lot of feathers in the process. If he was truly a serial rapist / murder, he would have done so at the time, and not just wrote about it!”

L: “Good point!”

J.V. wrote: “My boyfriend wants to A2M (ass to mouth) with me. I’m concerned it could be dangerous though, do you have any experience or information to help me figure out if this is safe? I don’t mind doing either individually, I’m not sure about one right after another like that.”

Liz says: There’s a good chance he saw A2M in porn, but porn actors do some serious prep work before shooting those types of scenes. They usually fast (not eat) for a day before filming and clean out their system with an enema, so there is little chance of the receiver getting a mouthful of feces.

Going directly from anal sex to vaginal sex is a big no-no, because of the risk of carrying fecal matter into the urethra which could give you a urinary tract infection. But what about fecal matter in your mouth?

Ever heard of E. Coli? That’s the lovely bacteria that lives in all animal intestinal tracts and feces, but if consumed can give you a nasty (and sometimes deadly) case of diarrhea and vomiting. Click here to read what The Mayo Clinic says about E.Coli.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say your man is turned on by the humiliation/domination of the act, but there are safer ways to play that out in the bedroom. If you’d rather not risk your health (and I think it’s safe to assume you don’t want to, hence your letter)  then you two can come up with alternatives that will make you both happy.

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My hubby and I haven’t had health insurance for a few years now. Only our son is covered. I needed a check-up and pap exam (which is a norm for preventive care, testing for possible cervical cancer), so I called up the nearest Planned Parenthood clinic and made an appointment.

We live in a small town. I found myself concerned of the possibility that someone who knows us would witness us entering or leaving the building and make the assumption we were there for an abortion. I could imagine the gossip, the trail of “alternative facts” going from ear to ear like the childhood game of Telephone.

Person A: “I saw Liz and Terry walking into Planned Parenthood. Do you think they got an abortion?”

Person B to Person C: “Person A saw Liz and Terry leaving Planned Parenthood. She said they probably got an abortion.”

Person C to Person D: “I heard Liz and Terry got an abortion recently. That’s awful. Why wouldn’t they want to give little Remy a brother or sister?”

Then I thought I could pre-empt all that nonsense by posting on my Facebook “In case anyone sees me and Terry at Planned Parenthood: No, we are not pregnant or getting an abortion. I will be there for some routine preventive care.” I scratched that when I realized who cares what people think? It’s none of their business!

So we arrived a half hour early to my appointment and sat in the lobby completing the necessary paperwork. It was tiny and cozy. When the nurse called me back I asked “I’d like my husband to join me, is that okay?” She replied “Sure, it’s up to you.”

The nurse was friendly and easily laughed at Terry’s jokes. She took my blood pressure and all the usual tests and everything was normal. She instructed me to undress and don the  scrubs that tie in the back and told me the doctor would be in soon.

The doctor was in soon and greeted us warmly with a smile. She never made us feel rushed. She took her time listening to me and discussing everything before beginning the pap exam. And because I had complained of feeling extremely fatigued a few times a month, she took a drop of blood from my finger to test my iron levels in case I was anemic. It only took a few minutes to test it, and she returned to the room to say my iron levels are normal so it’s not anemia causing me to lie around all day useless to the world. (Side note, as a longtime vegetarian my iron levels have always been normal.) I figured it was hormonal, since it usually occurs right around my period.

The doctor also gave me a breast exam and didn’t find any lumps, but she said the fact that my paternal grandmother had two sisters die from breast cancer was good enough reason to get my first mammogram (but she did say it would be more concerning if it was closer relatives that had cancer). So plans were made for that.

When we got to the front desk to pay up, Terry was shocked our bill was so inexpensive. He was used to paying hundreds of dollars out-of-pocket even when we had insurance.

Planned Parenthood is necessary in a country with astronomically high medical costs, corrupt insurance companies, and an economic recession.

Believe it or not, I am sympathetic to the anti-abortion crusaders. I understand why they feel and think the way they do about abortion. What I don’t understand is why so many of them are also against the very practices and services that can PREVENT unwanted pregnancies and abortion in the first place, like free or low-cost birth control (or any birth control, Catholics!), easier access to higher education for all, welfare and food stamp programs, proper sex education for teenagers (instead of abstinence only–which has been proven to be ineffective in preventing teen pregnancy), and the Affordable Care Act. It makes ZERO SENSE. If you want to stop abortion, you don’t focus only on outlawing the procedure and pay no attention to how to prevent the need in the first place!

Needless to say, I think defunding Planned Parenthood is a huge mistake because they do more to help prevent the rate of the very procedure the Republicans in congress use as an excuse to defund them. Did you know only 3% of all PP services are abortion-related? The rest of their services are for things like cancer screening, testing for sexually-transmitted infections, and contraception. Plus, federal funding doesn’t go toward abortions.

Recently, some ridiculous video (by an anti-abortion group called Live Action) surfaced claiming to show that PP doesn’t offer prenatal care to women who want to keep their babies. The implication being “See! PP doesn’t care about women! They’re an evil organization that just wants you to kill your babies!”

It’s so absurd I don’t even know where to start. How about with the title of organization? They call themselves Planned Parenthood because their focus is in helping people plan parenthood by preventing unwanted pregnancies with education and contraception, and plan for healthy pregnancies by providing STI testing and cervical cancer screenings. Their reason for existing has never been about providing care once you decide to start a family. So this video is as ridiculous as a video that claims “Ob/Gyns Exposed For Not Providing Pediatric Care! Once the babies are born, they don’t care about your baby!”

PP’s CEO Cecile Richards said on video that one of the services people depend on them to provide is “prenatal care”. Apparently, only a few of their clinics provide prenatal services. So it’s not that this is an outright lie, it’s not as if she said prenatal care is one of the services people “depend on the most”. In other words, her statement is still factually correct.

This video was made to emotionally manipulate, it is propaganda in an attempt to discredit PP. Live Action is clearly expecting people to be too stupid to stop and think about it. So stop and think about it.

#IStandWithPP

Sources: How PP Spends Federal Funds and FactCheck.org on PP Spending

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Josh wrote: “Is it normal I like cumming on women’s faces? I know it’s something kind of “invented” by the porn industry, but I find it very satisfying. Not all woman are into it, but there is something about seeing my load all over a woman’s face that really turns me on. I truly have respect for women & believe in equality, but do you think I might secretly like “degrading” them for a small amount of time?”

Liz says: It sounds like you enjoy being dominant, with a tendency toward being aroused by humiliation. What’s interesting is that what turns us on is often not indicative of what we feel or believe in real life. It’s common to be aroused by sexual activities involving domination and submission, but to not be dominating or submissive in other ways. Sometimes there are even things that arouse us in fantasy but would disturb us in real life. It’s also normal for you to be a little confused by it; many people have a difficult time reconciling their sexual fantasies with who they are typically.

It’s often said that it’s the Type A Personality who runs 3 businesses who privately enjoys paying a Dominatrix to make him submissive. Or the person who fantasizes about a prison guard forcing a prisoner to do sexual “favors” would be totally horrified in real life if they saw that happen. Many of the things we find sexually arousing are only arousing if they remain fantasies and are never actually acted out. In other words, you might enjoy doing something degrading in the bedroom, but would never do anything that degrades or humiliates a woman in real life. It’s common for both men and women.

So as long as what you’re doing is consensual, you’re normal.human-minds

 

Liz: “I’m so glad you reached out to me! Fate would bring us together through our amazing hairstylist, Laura. We have a lot in common!

I love your website. It’s easy to navigate and has a clean design, peppered with spirited photos of your smiling face. You have a very welcoming, comforting vibe, and that’s great for what you do.

So what made you choose to be a physiotherapist for our privates?”

Susie:It all started when I was jumping on a trampoline 6 years ago with my godson and I suddenly pissed myself. At 25yrs old I freaked out. As fate would have it, my good friend Ashely emailed me an opportunity to shadow a pelvic health therapist. I was nervous at first because I didn’t know if I could muster up the courage to stick my finger in someone else’s vagina. After shadowing the therapist and taking a few training classes on my own, I was sold.”

Liz: “On your About page, you list the questions you hear the most from people and I found it informative and funny. Do you find that a lot of people seem uncomfortable with what you do when you first tell them?”

Susie:Oh yea, because who isn’t shy talking about their private parts? Eventually after a few cock-tails people end up asking me all sorts of questions and express tons of interest.”

L: “You’re a woman who’s very pretty and youthful looking, do you ever feel like people have a difficult time respecting your authority or knowledge?”

S:Unfortunately it comes with the territory as they say which is why I do my best to address the big elephant in the room. Without sounding too narcissistic or prude, yes I know I’m pretty and I’m a chick but I like to keep things down to earth and professional. I pride myself being able to make people, especially men, feel comfortable about issues going on downstairs. It’s way too often that people are shy and nervous seeking help for their privates and if I can bring light to a rather “embarrassing” subject the more my message gets across, hopefully encouraging people to get the help they need.

As a woman, boundaries are very important and I make sure both men and women know what those boundaries are for me. 99% of the time I have no issues with people crossing boundaries because when you’ve got dick pain the last thing you’re thinking about is some hot chick looking at your junk. You just want help so the problem down there gets cleared up.”

L: “What’s the biggest myth about male and female reproduction/sexuality?”

S:The biggest myth that comes to mind is the female orgasm. Ha ha not that the orgasm is the myth but that women “gush” buckets of cum when they orgasm. That’s just not true no matter what you’ve seen in porn. Truth be told women do have a ‘female prostate’ with little tiny glands called skene’s glads that emit prostate like fluid along with diluted urine when stimulated. So the female g-spot does exist and women do cum just not bucket amounts. If that’s the case, I’d be curious to see how much of that fluid is diluted urine.

For men, I’d say that having an orgasm doesn’t equal ejaculation. You can have an orgasm without ejaculation. And guys, you can’t separate your mind from your penis. Your performance is partly based on what’s going on in your head (the one on your neck not your penis haha).”

L: “What’s the best and worst advice about sex and relationships your parents gave you?”

S:I actually never got any advice from my parents BUT my old polish grandma on the other hand, now that’s a different story. When my cousin once asked her how to prevent getting pregnant, she said “do anal”. Classic.”

L: “Are you working on any side projects?”

S:Too many! The biggest and most recent project is my new book, Pelvic Pain: The Ultimate Cock Block. Accounting for over 2 million outpatient visits per year in the United States alone, persistent pelvic pain syndrome is a  mysterious condition imprisoning millions of men in their own bodies.

In my book, I address this invisible affliction targeting men in their early 20’s-late 30’s. I discuss the low down on the ‘down below’ using humor to break down the walls of cultural taboos, empowering men (and women) to take matters into their ‘own hands’, literally.

There are only a select few books in the realm of pelvic pain, none of which are specifically written in a tone and language that captures the voices of young men suffering with pelvic pain. It’s straight forward, empowering and provides self-help strategies to ensure that pelvic pain doesn’t snowball into a catastrophic, self-dooming life sentence. Pelvic pain isn’t permanent despite what the internet and other doctors may have said.

My second greatest project is establishing a practice in Asheville, NC. I recently moved from Chicago to the beautiful smokey mountains and am setting up shop here. So if you’re up for some serious healing and love nature, come visit me in Asheville y’all!”

L: “Do you have more male or female clients/people who contact you?”

S: “I’d say it’s 50/50.”

L: “What’s the most surprising fact about our sexual anatomy that many people don’t know?”

S:That we actually have muscles down there that are essential for sexual health and function. It’s more complicated than people think. And the second most interesting fact is that these same muscles are essential for pooping and peeing. Sex, poop, and pee are vital everyday functions and there are people like me out there who help when things literally go “south”.”

L: “If you could go back to your teens knowing then what you know now, is there anything you’d do differently?”

S:Great question! I would definitely eat healthier, take less antibiotics and do more self-care like yoga, exercise, meditation, mental coaching etc. Health is a multifaceted continuum and the key to happiness in my opinion.”

L: “Tell me more about your Guidance Program vs your Hands-On Program.”

S:The Guidance program is essentially a health coaching relationship established to help someone who’s got pelvic pain and doesn’t know where to start, who to see, what to do. As a health coach, it’s my job to support you with all my professional networks and resources so that you can build a supportive wellness team to suit your needs. I also push you out of your cozy, comfort zone to get to the real fears and barriers that are preventing you from reaching your health and/or personal goals. I’ve worked with many individuals with pelvic pain and take a holistic and integrative approach to healthcare but this also takes commitment on the client’s part to do the work. Unfortunately, there’s no “magic pill or cure” for anything in this world and ultimately all the healing comes from within.

The Hands-On program is something unique I created that no other physical therapist has done to my knowledge. I’ve created a one-on-one, 6 day unique teaching program designed to teach you how to treat yourself. You learn all the tools to become an expert in treating yourself from a physical standpoint. You also get the coaching and supportive guidance because the physical issues are just one piece of the puzzle and addressing the other domains such as relationships, sleep, nutrition, mental health, resilience, etc. For this program participants must be willing to come visit me in Asheville, NC.

You can find details of both programs on my website www.drsusieg.com

L: “What’s the #1 cause of male pelvic pain and female pelvic pain?”

S: “Ah, another toughie. Honestly, there isn’t any #1 cause for pelvic pain. That’s what makes this issue such a conundrum for most patients, doctors and wellness providers. It’s a multifaceted issue and looking at the whole person, at all domains of their health is essential to healing. I know this isn’t the answer most people want to hear but it’s the nature of the beast. I think people need to realize that persistent pain of any kind is all encompassing and really a signal from your body that something in your life needs to change. It’s not always physical and we need to start looking beyond just treating the symptoms.

Pain gets a bad wrap but it’s actually a gift. Without pain we’d be in more harm. You’d want to know that you’re touching a hot stove, you want to know that you just stepped on a nail. Pain is a vital part of life.”

L: “If you could give only one piece of advice for preventive care, what would it be?”

S: “Don’t forget to have some fun in your life. It’s the best cure for anything. Putting yourself first is not selfish, actually you’re doing everyone a favor by taking care of yourself so that you have the strength and resilience to take care of others. As they say on the airplane safety spiel you’ve got to put on your own oxygen mask first before helping others. You’re no use to them if you’re dead.”

You can also find Dr. Susie Gronski on:

Twitter @DrSusieG Facebook: @drsusieg Instagram: @dr.susieg

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Photo credit: Real Life Moment Photography