The Naked Advice

Dating, Sex, And Relationship Advice with Liz LaPoint

Everyday in the U.S. more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends. Nearly 1 in 5 teenage girls who have been in a relationship said a boyfriend threatened violence or self-harm when she wanted to break-up. Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women—more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined.

For every 100,000 men, 1,352 were incarcerated in 2010. For every 100,000 women, only 126 were incarcerated.

What was that about women being more emotional than men? I didn’t hear you over the collective sound of men starting wars, bar fights, and committing other unsavory acts of power-seeking, revenge, and ego-protecting.

This myth that women are more emotional comes from that place that seeks to distract from the true source of the accusation. These men doth protest too much, me thinks.

“If I lead a campaign against pornography, no one will suspect I am a porn addict!” That place.
“If I yell about gays and their agenda, no one will suspect I’m gay!” That place.

In this case, it’s “If we accuse women of being too emotional, they will be too busy defending themselves to notice that we are, and if women believe they are innately inferior for positions of power, they won’t seek to fill those positions.”

People are forgetting that anger is an emotion. People forget that men are just as susceptible to feeling every emotion that women do, because emotions are what separate us from things like cardboard and pussy willows. We are all vulnerable to allowing our emotions get the best of us sometimes, but even a cursory glance at crime statistics and there’s no doubt which sex is “too emotional”.

Anger can be a powerful motivator for good or evil, but anyone who’s paid any attention to human history can see that it’s replete with examples of men’s emotions getting the best of them and abuse of power.

I love men. Pointing any of this out is in no way an indication of misandry. There are millions of good men in the world who treat all people with respect and love, who are emotionally evolved, who take care of their families and never break the law. But the older I get, the more I see that some stereotypes are not only false, it is the opposite that’s true.

During my dating years, I saw no evidence that men are less emotional. A few boyfriends were more than comfortable enough to shed tears in front of me, and sometimes during arguments I was the only one remaining calm and rational.

Related to the stereotype that women are more emotional is the PMS Excuse. Women have been just as guilty of perpetuating the belief that all women are inevitable basketcases once a month. For years, I thought I belonged to the minority of girls who didn’t suffer from Premenstrual Syndrome, because there’s this assumption that it comes with the territory of having a monthly uterine bloodbath. Then I did some reading and found it’s not as common as people think.

But don’t take my word for it. This is what Dr. Sikon, MD, a gynecologist at the Center For Specialized Women’s Health at Cleveland Clinic, has to say on the matter: “While it’s easy to assume that any bad mood that comes on right before your period is PMS, it isn’t as common as many women think. There are guidelines to define PMS, which consists of the recurrance of both physical and behavioral symptoms that interfere with some element of functioning during the second half of the menstrual cycle. Only 30% of women may have actual PMS. Only 3-8% have PMDD, Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder, the more severe form of PMS.”

That’s why it sounds totally absurd when someone seriously claims women shouldn’t be in leadership positions because they get PMS. If PMS was such a dangerous thing, those crime and prison statistics above would be more equal for men and women.

The first time I heard someone say (it might’ve been a woman) we can’t have a female president because “women are emotional and irrational”, I was floored that anyone could really believe that. That was probably over 20 years ago, and now we are on the cusp of possibly electing our first female POTUS. Does this mean attitudes have changed? Is America abandoning this stereotype?

Because of this stereotype, women often have to remain steely and almost robotic in their professional domains since any hint of feeling sadness or compassion will often quickly be used against them. They’re determined to be “too weak” for leadership positions, but when a man shows emotions it boosts his image as kinder, more mature.

There’s video of Bernie Sanders stepping away from his podium at a rally to allow BLM activists speak. Many people (including me) found it to be a humble gesture from a man who wants to serve the people and improve America’s race relations. But that video was quickly compared to another video of HRC telling a BLM activist to stop interrupting her while she spoke. It was used to make the argument that HRC isn’t for black Americans, that she doesn’t care what they have to say. I admit I bristled when I first watched that clip, and then I realized that she would’ve been criticized for being “weak” if she hadn’t stood her ground at the microphone, that allowing someone else to take over her spot (even if briefly) would probably have been used to declare her unfit for the presidency. As a woman, she has probably been fighting her whole life to prove she can handle any position a man can, and that means you don’t let people interrupt you if you want to be taken seriously.

Even a cursory glance at Donald Trump’s demeanor and behavior while speaking at his rallies and the debates shows a man who’s thin-skinned and emotionally immature. It’s time for this myth that females are less emotionally stable to die along with Trump’s political career.




John wrote: “I am drawn to the lifestyle of a female-led relationship. Men who love their wives and work hard everyday so that their wives do not need to have jobs. When they come home from work, they cook and clean. Although they make the money and pay the bills, the excess money is controlled by the wife and her permission is needed before he goes and spends more than what she budgets for him. Lastly, he is faithful and devoted to her at all times, but it is agreed that she is free to pursue her sexuality, even if that involves dating or sleeping with other men. To me there is a level of happiness, both psychologically and sexually, obtained by putting your wife above yourself. To others, it looks like a life of double standards and taking abuse that makes you look weak. Any thoughts?”

Liz says: The relationship you’re describing is a cross between Financial Domination and Cuckolding, except in your case it’s your wife who is your Domme, not some chick on the internet. Many men like you settle into regular relationships but cheat on their partner by developing an online sub-Domme relationship, but that’s not what you want! You want your actual partner to be dominant.

Have you done some introspection to discover why you desire this type of relationship? Imagine the genders reversed, what would you think of a woman who wanted her man to treat her this way? Historically, this is exactly the life women were expected to live, so is there something about the role reversal that atones for how men used to treat women?

Whatever the genders involved, what you’re describing is eroticized abuse.

In typical S&M relationships, the sexual activities (the “eroticized abuse”) are just fantasies played out occasionally, and the participants often have healthy partnerships in everyday life. But what you want is round-the-clock abuse, and that is more concerning.

There is nothing healthy about wanting to be the child in a relationship. Being controlled, having to ask for money even though you’ve earned it, being okay with her dating/sleeping with others makes you the child in this and her the “mom”.

I believe for your desires to be healthy there needs to be balance. If female domination is a huge turn-on for you, partner up with a woman who has a dominant personality so that you can role-play on occasion. But living daily the way you describe above isn’t healthy and I can’t condone it. Just because you say it makes you happy, doesn’t mean it’s healthy. There are a hundred other things we could list that people would say makes them happy but are terrible for all sorts of reasons.

I’m not saying you should feel ashamed, just that you could do yourself a lot of good digging deeper into why an abusive relationship became an arousing desire for you.



Dear Everyone,

The computer my hubby Terry and I were using to store and edit my videos has decided to finally kick the bucket.

Until we can replace it, I will be focusing on answering letters here on my blog, writing my memoir, and fine art modeling for Terry’s photography.

I am so grateful to my YouTube subscribers and Patreon supporters! In case any of you would like to help out, here is the link to a computer I put in my Amazon wish-list, plus the link to my Patreon if you want to help me raise the funds (if half my channel’s subscribers donated just $1, I could replace the computer!).

It’s crazy how I just returned to making new videos on my channel after taking the summer off and this happens–ugh!

Thank you so much,


My Amazon Wish List

My Patreon




Charles wrote:  “My wife, despite us both only being in our early twenties, has a pretty low sex drive. We get along well and communicate well but we aren’t always on the same page sexually, so I masturbate pretty frequently, usually 4-5 times a week. I always do it in private, but I’m curious how she would react if I did it openly (by this I mean in our bedroom, not in public lol). I really like the idea of her watching or knowing I’m doing it. Do you think that most women would find this offensive, disrespectful, or a turn-off if their partner did this? I also like to anally stimulate myself while I do it. Do you think that would be unwise to share as well? Best regards.”

Liz says: I think it’s a great idea that you want to include her, because some men masturbate alone because they prefer watching porn to being with their ladies. But not you! You’re hoping to rev things up and make it a mutually satisfying experience as a married couple. So props to you for that.

Most women probably only have an issue with their men masturbating if it’s clearly in place of being with her. If he doesn’t show her much affection, treats her poorly, ogles other women, watches a lot of porn, and rarely initiates sex with her, she’ll understandably be hurt to find him jerking off (or if he’s that much of a douche, she might be relieved he’s leaving her alone!). But in a healthy coupling, occasional masturbation by both sexes is normal and isn’t a reflection of anything wrong.

The only way to find out if your wife will find it a turn-on or a turn-off is to open up to her about everything you told me. I don’t think it would be “unwise” to share with her where your erogenous zones are and begin that conversation because it can result in a happier, more fulfilling sex life for both of you! But if she leans more conservative and you’re concerned she will have misconceptions about straight men and anal sex, be blunt about clearing those up right off the bat.

Good luck!


A.W. wrote: “I have dated this girl for the past two weeks. It’s going well so far, but the only thing that caught me off guard a little bit is that she me wants me to worship her feet. I’m a guy who hates touching feet in general, what do I do?”

Liz says: Tell her exactly what you said to me.

It sounds like she wants a submissive guy and you’re not that guy. Don’t waste her time and yours pretending to be someone you’re not.

If you are a submissive guy but just don’t like feet, ask her if you can worship all of her😉

Hopefully this can work out, but her needing you to do things you don’t want to do might be a deal breaker for both of you, and that’s okay. Better to discover this now, not later.



Curious wrote: “So recently I’ve been discovering my sexuality and I think I’ve found my answer. I believe I am bisexual but I have a preference for men. I would not turn down a female if she was someone I was interested in for the right reasons. I feel comfortable in my identity it’s just there seems to be so many misconceptions about bisexual people that I’m afraid to tell anyone, particularly the person I’m with (who is a male) about my new revelation.

I guess my questions are, is there such a thing as being bisexual with a preference towards one gender? And should I tell my partner of my new sexuality? Thank you.”

Liz says: Who could blame you for worrying about misconceptions when saying you’re bisexual is often assumed to be code for promiscuous and commitment-phobic or really gay but taking baby steps to come out of the closet? If you’re female, then people think you’re just saying that to turn guys on and if you’re male you must’ve been sexually abused so now you’re “confused”. How frustrating!

I will admit I used to be guilty of believing that girls said it for attention (we’ve all seen our share of straight chicks making out at the bar in a drunken stupor while the men salivate) and gay guys used the label bisexual at first because it felt “safer”. While these situations undoubtedly exist, to assume this is the case with every person who says they’re attracted to both sexes is ignorant.

I believe most heterosexual people are bi-curious. We go through a phase where we  wonder what it would be like to kiss the same sex. I’m sure some lesbians and gays also wonder what it would be like to make out with the sex that society expects them to be attracted to. Some of us experiment and some of us repress those thoughts and forget about it. This is all normal.

Now on to your questions: Yes, there is such a thing as preferring one gender over the other! Many people are more sexually attracted to one sex, and more romantically attracted to the other. I’ve also read about people who only date the other sex and have only had committed relationships with them, but enjoy occasionally sleeping with the same sex. This in no way proves that people who identify as bisexual can’t commit in relationships. They are no more likely to cheat than heterosexuals or homosexuals or asexuals or foot fetishists or furries or people who want to marry their refrigerators.

As far as telling your current partner, why not? It’s not something you should feel you need to hide from someone you’re intimate with. If you’re concerned that he believes all of the above myths, just educate him. If he can’t hang with knowing this tidbit about you, then you know sooner than later not to waste any more time with him!




There’s a lot of bad advice out there. Sometimes it’s only bad because it’s too simplistic, like “Good communication is the most important for making love last”. Sure, good communication is important, but what exactly is “good” communication? And what about things like compatible personalities, sexual and/or romantic chemistry, and shared values?

I recently came across a piece of bad advice while reading an article about marriage. A therapist said they tell their engaged clients to ask their friends what they think of the person they are planning to marry and be sure to “listen to what they have to say”. Presumably, the therapist sees value in getting an outsider’s perspective of the person you’re about to swap bodily fluids with for the rest of your life.

What problem could I possibly have with that, right? Seems reasonable, doesn’t it?

No, no, no. For starters, you have to consider how old your friends are and how much life experience and dating experience they have. If your friends are much younger than you and inexperienced, do their opinions have as much weight?

Second, the therapist has forgotten that sometimes friends have underlying resentments or issues and aren’t exactly unbiased in their opinions. What if your bestie is actually jealous of you and your relationship? Should you listen to the opinions of someone who might not have your best interests at heart?

Third, your friends aren’t marrying your mate, you are. There might be things about your mate that they dislike but you find endearing or tolerable. Unless you’re in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship, their opinions shouldn’t matter.

Fourth, some people have a tendency to only talk about their mates with their friends after they’ve had a massive fight (if you do this I would suggest you’re not mature enough for marriage yet), therefore cementing a negative opinion in their friend’s minds of what could actually be a healthy relationship. It’s normal to fight sometimes, but if that’s all your friends hear about they might believe you two are wrong for each other. Of course, this all depends on context, but only the two people in the relationship actually have all the information in which to base all their decision-making.

Which leads me to the final reason it’s bad advice to suggest one go to their friends before deciding to marry someone: I believe it’s the therapist’s job to guide someone and equip them with all the tools necessary to *know how to make wise relationship decisions on their own*. Key aspects of maturity are knowing how to be emotionally intelligent, develop and use critical-thinking skills, knowing how to step outside of yourself to see things from another perspective, and knowing how to filter out all the noise (AKA everyone else’s opinions about your life).