Ashley asked: “I’m about two months into my current relationship and I think I might be catching feelings for someone else. I’m actually so confused about the whole thing. I really do like my boyfriend and he is a great guy, but my feelings are totally mixed up right now. I don’t know what to do and I don’t want to hurt his feelings. Any advice?”
Liz says: I feel for you, Ashley! Here are a few questions to ask yourself:
1) What does the other person do, say, believe, wear, etc that your current beau doesn’t? You may be crushing on this other person because they embody things you admire or can relate to that your current man just doesn’t bring to the table.
2) Do you find yourself leaning toward someone else because of unresolved conflicts or minor annoyances that have been getting to you? Sometimes when issues go unresolved and accumulate, it can erode our feelings of affection or love. Then you need to also ask if these are conflicts that can be resolved or if they are products of simply being incompatible.
3) Does your boyfriend feel more like a friend than a boyfriend? It’s possible a lack of romance in the relationship makes this other person’s sex appeal so attractive.
Hopefully answering these questions honestly with yourself will help you deduce what avenue you want to walk down. If you decide you want to break up with your boyfriend, hurting him goes with the territory but be respectful and honest with him. Treat him the way you’d want someone to treat you in the same circumstances.