J.S. asked: “Hi Liz. Do you think that it is a good idea to have different relations at the same moment? I mean two or more girlfriends for a man. Or two or more boyfriends for a woman. Without lie of course.”
Liz says: I think we’ve all felt at some point in our lives that it’s difficult to find someone who’s a “complete package”. I remember when I had stopped dating a guy who was super foxy but had an annoying sense of humor, and I met my friend Donna for lunch and complained that I wished I could combine the traits I loved about every boyfriend I’d had to make the “perfect” man for me. “He’d have Xavier’s sense of humor, Harry’s looks, Greg’s intellect, and Barry’s warm personality.” Donna chimed in with her own version of Franken-boyfriend.
Until your “complete package” comes along (or not, if that’s not what you’re looking for), I don’t see anything wrong with dating multiple people at the same time as long as you’re honest with your dates, especially when sex is involved. People who identify as polyamorous have multiple lovers. Honesty and communication are what make it work. Polyamory isn’t only about sex; they feel capable of falling in love with many people. Treating the people you’re dating with respect by always using protection during sex and openly communicating with them should be a priority.
I imagine it can get really messy dating more than one person at the same time, even if you’re not being a cheating dog. That ugly emotion jealousy can still pop up even after knowingly entering a relationship in which your lover sometimes prefers the company of someone else in his or her bed. It could feel overwhelming emotionally sometimes, not to mention dealing with intrusive questions and judgment from those who don’t understand. Judgment from others shouldn’t keep you from forging ahead, though, if that’s what you want. Nosy relatives and co-workers can mind their own business.
Good luck and have fun!