The Naked Advice

Model & Writer Liz LaPoint answers your questions about dating, sex, and relationships

“GD” asked:I have a question. I am 24 year old white male and I have a white sister, she is 21 years old and she is dating a black man who is 29 and me and my sister have rooms next to each other, only a wall separates us. Sometimes when I am at home and want to sleep late at night I hear sounds coming from my sister’s room when she and her black boyfriend have sex. 

On rare occasions I can hear also some words like for example “come on take that big black dick deep inside your tight white pussy, who owns your white pussy bitch” and she responds “oh come on black daddy I am all yours fuck me hard with that big black dick”.

I get hard when listening to that dirty talk.

So I wanna ask am I crazy to get an erection from that? What is wrong with me, one time I even masturbated listening to such a conversation, what should I do? Is that normal or should I seek help?”

Liz says:  I’m going to recommend you secure a new place to live and move out as soon as possible, GD.

I’ll be direct in saying two things trouble me with the situations you describe.

First, the fact that it’s your sister. I would be completely turned off hearing any of my family members (and even friends) doing anything sexual. YUCK. The incest taboo is such a universally human (instinctual) response, and for good reason. I’m not suggesting you have any desire for your sister, just that it’s a bit worrisome that knowing it’s her and hearing her voice doesn’t ruin the “porn movie” you can hear taking place next door.

Second, it’s also disconcerting that you’re hung (no pun intended) up on her boyfriend’s race/skin color. Is this because you believe in the racist stereotype that darker-skinned men of African descent have larger penises? It’s a myth. There isn’t a higher proportion of black men with larger penises, and there isn’t a higher proportion of white or Asian men with smaller penises. I’m not saying there’s something wrong with being attracted to people of different skin colors or anything like that, just that in this particular case it might signify something deeper that his race is part of the turn on for you. When people fetishize different ethnicities/skin colors, on the surface it seems anti-racist, but can often be a very bigoted thing.

Regardless, you might need help if this is an obsession for you, or you have any thoughts of being involved in their bedroom sessions. I think it would do you a world of good to move out, work on building a life that doesn’t involve sisters and Mandingo fantasies.

Other than that, I wouldn’t say you’re “crazy”, but you could probably benefit from having a sex-positive therapist to talk to, someone non-judgmental who could help you sort some stuff out. It’s actually a good sign that you are feeling troubled by it, and that you wrote me wondering if you’re crazy. That’s an indication that you’re not crazy 😉


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