The Naked Advice

Model & Writer Liz LaPoint answers your questions about dating, sex, and relationships

BB88 wrote: “I am a 28 year old African-American and I have a question. I went on a date with a 24 year old white girl and the date was awesome then after the date we went to her place and she gave me a blow job.

The next time we went after a date to her place she said that she wanted to try anal sex but with clothes on and of course, like a true gentleman, I did not say no and I put on protection + lube. We started having anal sex and after some time I asked if we could do “normal naked” sex now and she said NO! So I grabbed her, turned her around, pulled her pants off and she had a small white dick. I was shocked, like WTF and also angry and at the same time, mad+horny so I grabbed his throat and roughly penetrated him anally and started mercilessly fucking him because he tricked me. When I finished I got dressed and left. The next day I was thinking to myself ‘Am I now a homosexual or am I still straight?’ since I was not on the “receving end” if you know what I mean? And what got me also a little confused is I maybe liked a little the dominant sex part, not the part where I saw his small white dick but the sexual domination power over him / her.

So if you could help me with my question it would be really great.
Thank you for your answer.


Liz says: Dominance and submission are potent aphrodisiacs. Having power over someone and being submissive to someone are common and normal turn-ons. It’s one of the reasons we see professors and students dating, bosses and employees seeing each other secretly, and wealthy but physically unattractive men with pretty, younger women. The power dynamics can be very sexually exciting.

If you are only sexually and romantically attracted to females, you are still heterosexual. It doesn’t have anything to do with whether or not you were on “the receiving end”, as many straight men enjoy being anally penetrated by their female partners because the prostate gland can enhance orgasms (click here to watch my YouTube video on pegging!)

I hope you have some empathy toward your date, as it’s unfortunate but understandable why she wasn’t forthcoming about her sex. She might be intersexed or transgender, but either way try to see it from her point of view. I’m not saying it’s perfectly acceptable to go around having sex with people without first having that conversation, but it can be scary and confusing trying to navigate romantic relationships for all of us, let alone the added concerns she probably has.

I hope I could help, BB88!



One thought on ““Am I Now a Homosexual or Am I Still Straight?”

  1. I’m guessing that most of the story is true (Blow job, transgender person who wanted to have anal sex, being turned on by the domination and violence, his conflict about what it means about his own sexuality, etc.) but the whole “I was tricked and then continued with the sex” just rings false. I just can’t think of a conceivable reason why a straight guy, who is offered anal sex, even if it’s with clothes wouldn’t immediately try to touch the woman’s vagina or at the very least try to get a peak at the vagina. The average perineum is less than 2 inches long, no way that she was able to keep her pants on, pull them down to just the right spot and he didn’t think something was up. Also, who starts with anal first then tries to segway into vaginal penetration, and when refused suddenly puts two and two together like Sherlock Bones?

    Anyway, yeah, even if the story is legit, no dude you’re probably not gay. You’re probably not exactly straight either, but it’s not like a switch has suddenly been flipped.

    Liked by 1 person

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