The Naked Advice

Model & Writer Liz LaPoint answers your questions about dating, sex, and relationships

K.B. wrote:So I’m 21 here from India. I met this girl ( 19 from the UK ) at one of the online forums I don’t remember which one exactly. It started off as fun just for a while but after a point things got serious as we started conversing every single day whenever both of us were free or just skyped to see each other! Yup, both of us were in love with each other.

Things went fine for almost a year until she started dating someone whom she later mentioned, which was a bit of a surprise. That was the time she decided to separate herself from me which was a bit of a shock . I carried on with my life , until she contacted me a few months back that she wasn’t getting along with her boyfriend and asked whether we could be together again. I agreed to that since I do love her still, she is my world to be honest! Recently I got a text from her saying she can’t  “do this anymore”. I’m pretty sure it’s because of the distance but I just don’t know what to do.

I am attached to her emotionally and mentally, and no one knows about this relationship except us, as we wanted to keep it private. Would be great if you could offer some advice, thank you.

Liz says: You have two options, the way I see it: one of you can either relocate to be together, or you can find someone you can actually physically be with, as in someone who can be your date to the wedding, run with you every weekend, check out the new restaurant with you, and whatever else a romantic partner can only do when they’re in the same area you are. Why do you two want to keep the relationship private?

In general, I think long-distance relationships are a bad idea, because what’s the point of dating or being committed to someone you can’t actually be with? The exception would be something like when one of you has to temporarily be somewhere else for a job or taking care of a sick relative. But romantic relationships need to be frequently fed with a lot of affection and/or sex, because if they aren’t the need for affection and sex will be fulfilled by someone who can.

If you move on and meet someone else online and you both see potential for a long-term relationship, then you both should discuss relocating to be together. But really, you should probably only seek out dating people who live in your area so you can meet up in person as soon as possible. There are too many catfishes out there!


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