The Naked Advice

Model & Writer Liz LaPoint answers your questions about dating, sex, and relationships

“David” wrote: “So I met this girl in college, I sat next to her talked and flirted she seemed cool with it. I asked for her phone number and she gave it to me. The problem is she doesn’t text me back regularly. I text her she replies the next day sometimes longer but she does reply back. What’s her deal? Should I move on or keep trying?”

Liz says: Did you ask her out?

This is a modern issue in dating, in which the interested person doesn’t actually ask anyone out on a date, they simply have endless texting “conversations” in substitution of being in each other’s physical presence. Aziz Ansari does a hilarious bit on this in one of his stand-up shows. He asks audience members to show him their phone messages with the person they’ve recently met and it’s a stream of pointless chatter in which neither party actually asks the other out. Literally weeks go by and they still haven’t met up in person, except to Netflix and chill in some cases.

You don’t mention exactly how long it’s been since you asked for her number, but if it’s been more than a week and you still haven’t said “Hey, since you said you love sushi I’d love to take you to my fave sushi place. How about Saturday?”, she might be losing interest. It’s hard to take someone seriously if you feel like they don’t take you seriously as a romantic interest. If you don’t want to be in the Friend Zone, don’t start off too much like a friend.

You already had the confidence to ask her for her number, now follow up with a date!

Directly ask her out and see what happens. If you get the same wishy-washy, aloof vibe from her, move on. She either lost romantic interest or didn’t have it to begin with.

Remember, the best way to get to know someone and develop romantic love is to be in their presence, so if you want this:

couple laughing

don’t put off asking her out!

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