R.L. wrote: “I’d be interested in hearing your take on me. I am straight. My girl describes her self as a lesbian with penis envy. I have never had intercourse with her. I have given her oral and received (very rough) anal with oversized dildos. She is dominant. Over time I agreed to be feminized. I am smooth, wear heels, lingerie, a wig, and makeup when we have sex or play. I have always been on the submissive side but nothing too extreme. But now I get paddled, CBT Wax (not the wax that melts at low temperatures). We just got an Alien Dildo that lays gelatin eggs, and a Dildo that squirts to simulate cumming. I don’t really like the pain except for the lust and pleasure it brings her. I don’t get hard from receiving anal but I do love her doing it to me. But I have to admit I enjoy the crossdressing and being her sissy. I’ve been in chastity for awhile now. I get to masturbate every 4 to 6 weeks and I have to do that by myself (but video it and clean up my mess). I’ve agreed to be put in to a chastity device that uses a piercing so we can get rid of the cumbersome cage (it’s called the PA 5000 if you want to check it out).
I can honestly say I am having the most overwhelming orgasms I’ve experienced. So I did not really seek this out but I have never been happier and more in love. I just find her sooooooo erotic and pleasing, submitting and pretty much surrendering control any way she wants just feels good and right to me. I’m not allowed to have any say in what we do or what she does to me. I am masculine (kind of a redneck) Iron Worker. We do some public displays of Dominance and submission but for the most part she is a total sweetheart out of the bedroom. Sometimes I question my own sanity, but I don’t have any desire what so ever to not be in this relationship.”
Liz says: You two sound perfect for each other. You both get to play out your fantasies, mutually enjoying the roles you’ve taken on, and doing it all with respect and proper boundaries. But I actually understand you more than your girlfriend in this scenario!
With you, it makes sense that as a straight submissive man you’d get hot from pretending to be a female and getting penetrated by a female. But as a lesbian, I’m fascinated that she is with a man playing the feminine/submissive role instead of being with a woman. You’re heterosexual, so it makes sense you’re with a woman, but if she’s a lesbian why isn’t she with a woman, too? I’m guessing her sexuality leans more to the middle of the spectrum and less to the “only homosexual” end.
Anyway, whatever her sexual orientation, she’s dominant in the way that you need and it appears you are happy. A lot of straight subs question why they don’t get turned off by replicas of male genitalia (for anyone who’s never heard of the Alien dildo, click here to be amused and astonished LOL) but anything that puts you in a place of degradation will be arousing and for most straight men being female or being forced into a homosexual situation is degrading. In other words, you’re more aroused by humiliation than turned off by dildos.
The fact that you’re a “masculine Iron Worker” will be noted by many who subscribe to the notion that the more macho or powerful one is in regular life the more submissive they are in the bedroom. However, there are some who say that is not the norm and people involved in BDSM are more varied than that (although a fictional character, Christian Grey of the 50 Shades series comes to mind).
Congratulations on successful sexual exploration and finding a compatible partner!