The Naked Advice

Model & Writer Liz LaPoint answers your questions about dating, sex, and relationships

Charles wrote:  “My wife, despite us both only being in our early twenties, has a pretty low sex drive. We get along well and communicate well but we aren’t always on the same page sexually, so I masturbate pretty frequently, usually 4-5 times a week. I always do it in private, but I’m curious how she would react if I did it openly (by this I mean in our bedroom, not in public lol). I really like the idea of her watching or knowing I’m doing it. Do you think that most women would find this offensive, disrespectful, or a turn-off if their partner did this? I also like to anally stimulate myself while I do it. Do you think that would be unwise to share as well? Best regards.”

Liz says: I think it’s a great idea that you want to include her, because some men masturbate alone because they prefer watching porn to being with their ladies. But not you! You’re hoping to rev things up and make it a mutually satisfying experience as a married couple. So props to you for that.

Most women probably only have an issue with their men masturbating if it’s clearly in place of being with her. If he doesn’t show her much affection, treats her poorly, ogles other women, watches a lot of porn, and rarely initiates sex with her, she’ll understandably be hurt to find him jerking off (or if he’s that much of a douche, she might be relieved he’s leaving her alone!). But in a healthy coupling, occasional masturbation by both sexes is normal and isn’t a reflection of anything wrong.

The only way to find out if your wife will find it a turn-on or a turn-off is to open up to her about everything you told me. I don’t think it would be “unwise” to share with her where your erogenous zones are and begin that conversation because it can result in a happier, more fulfilling sex life for both of you! But if she leans more conservative and you’re concerned she will have misconceptions about straight men and anal sex, be blunt about clearing those up right off the bat.

Good luck!


3 thoughts on “His Wife Has a Low Sex Drive

  1. Coyote from Orion says:

    Sometimes just listening to someone you care about can have remarkable results

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Coyote from Orion says:

    Maybe if he takes a few dancing classes his wife’s sex drive may improve a bit?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Coyote from Orion says:

    I dated this girl a few times who had a low sex drive because her husband was useless. I broke it off because she wasn’t honest about the whole thing and I guess her husband sort of masturbated for everyone when he started sending me pictures of his motorcycle and his really scary double barrel nick name. I sent him an invoice for having to do his duties that should have been his privilege if he weren’t lowering his sperm count sitting on the machine. She was a cool woman in most regards and I could totally see why she took me out and spoiled me. I think a lot of males start bullying women into relationship before they ever learn to wank properly. It is not shameful. Being a motorbike hero on Facebook is.

    Liked by 1 person

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