Everyday in the U.S. more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends. Nearly 1 in 5 teenage girls who have been in a relationship said a boyfriend threatened violence or self-harm when she wanted to break-up. Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women—more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined.
For every 100,000 men, 1,352 were incarcerated in 2010. For every 100,000 women, only 126 were incarcerated.
What was that about women being more emotional than men? I didn’t hear you over the collective sound of men starting wars, bar fights, and committing other unsavory acts of power-seeking, revenge, and ego-protecting.
This myth that women are more emotional comes from that place that seeks to distract from the true source of the accusation. These men doth protest too much, me thinks.
“If I lead a campaign against pornography, no one will suspect I watch porn!” That place.
“If I yell about gays and their agenda, no one will suspect I’m gay!” That place.
In this case, it’s “If we accuse women of being too emotional, they will be too busy defending themselves to notice that we are, and if women believe they are innately inferior for positions of power, they won’t seek to fill those positions.”
People are forgetting that anger is an emotion. People forget that men are just as susceptible to feeling every emotion that women do, because emotions are what separate us from things like cardboard and pussy willows. We are all vulnerable to allowing our emotions get the best of us sometimes, but even a cursory glance at crime statistics and there’s no doubt which sex is “too emotional”.
Anger can be a powerful motivator for good or evil, but anyone who’s paid any attention to human history can see that it’s replete with examples of men’s emotions getting the best of them and abuse of power.
I love men. Pointing any of this out is in no way an indication of misandry. There are millions of good men in the world who treat all people with respect and love, who are emotionally evolved, who take care of their families and never break the law. But the older I get, the more I see that some stereotypes are not only false, it is the opposite that’s true.
During my dating years, I saw no evidence that men are less emotional. A few boyfriends were more than comfortable enough to shed tears in front of me, and sometimes during arguments I was the only one remaining calm and rational.
Related to the stereotype that women are more emotional is the PMS Excuse. Women have been just as guilty of perpetuating the belief that all women are inevitable basketcases once a month. For years, I thought I belonged to the minority of girls who didn’t suffer from Premenstrual Syndrome, because there’s this assumption that it comes with the territory of having a monthly uterine bloodbath. Then I did some reading and found it’s not as common as people think.
But don’t take my word for it. This is what Dr. Sikon, MD, a gynecologist at the Center For Specialized Women’s Health at Cleveland Clinic, has to say on the matter: “While it’s easy to assume that any bad mood that comes on right before your period is PMS, it isn’t as common as many women think. There are guidelines to define PMS, which consists of the recurrance of both physical and behavioral symptoms that interfere with some element of functioning during the second half of the menstrual cycle. Only 30% of women may have actual PMS. Only 3-8% have PMDD, Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder, the more severe form of PMS.”
That’s why it sounds totally absurd when someone seriously claims women shouldn’t be in leadership positions because they get PMS. If PMS was such a dangerous thing, those crime and prison statistics above would be more equal for men and women.
The first time I heard someone say (it might’ve been a woman) we can’t have a female president because “women are emotional and irrational”, I was floored that anyone could really believe that. That was probably over 20 years ago, and now we are on the cusp of possibly electing our first female POTUS. Does this mean attitudes have changed? Is America abandoning this stereotype?
Because of this stereotype, women often have to remain steely and almost robotic in their professional domains since any hint of feeling sadness or compassion will often quickly be used against them. They’re determined to be “too weak” for leadership positions, but when a man shows emotions it boosts his image as kinder, more mature.
There’s video of Bernie Sanders stepping away from his podium at a rally to allow BLM activists speak. Many people (including me) found it to be a humble gesture from a man who wants to serve the people and improve America’s race relations. But that video was quickly compared to another video of HRC telling a BLM activist to stop interrupting her while she spoke. It was used to make the argument that HRC isn’t for black Americans, that she doesn’t care what they have to say. I admit I bristled when I first watched that clip, and then I realized that she would’ve been criticized for being “weak” if she hadn’t stood her ground at the microphone, that allowing someone else to take over her spot (even if briefly) would probably have been used to declare her unfit for the presidency. As a woman, she has probably been fighting her whole life to prove she can handle any position a man can, and that means you don’t let people interrupt you if you want to be taken seriously.
Even a cursory glance at Donald Trump’s demeanor and behavior while speaking at his rallies and the debates shows a man who’s thin-skinned and emotionally immature. It’s time for this myth that females are less emotionally stable to die along with Trump’s political career.