S.B. wrote: “My wife of four years is pregnant with our second child. She’s in her seventh month and the idea of sex with her in her current condition makes me uncomfortable. It isn’t the belly, I don’t think I mind her being overweight, it’s much more that it almost feels inappropriate. The last time we did it, about a month ago, the whole time I was thinking “my kid is in there!” and I actually faked an orgasm. I didn’t mind at three months but now I guess the “deniability” is gone. It’s not like she’s asked and I refused I just have not initiated as I normally do. Am I an awful person?”
Liz says: Everything you’ve described is normal. Many men find it difficult to maintain arousal during sex with their mate’s pregnant bodies, for understandable reasons, and eventually after the child is born sex with their partner returns to what it used to be. While I get why you’d be weirded out by the fact that your “kid is in there!”, it might help you to know that the mucus plug at the bottom of her cervix prevents semen from coming into contact with the baby. Click here to read more about sex during pregnancy by the Mayo Clinic.
I’m curious though: did you not feel this way with the first pregnancy?
Anyway, just be open and honest with her about how you feel, so she’s not left to assume the worst, and enjoy other forms of affection and sexual activities with each other. You know what some women love more than intercourse while pregnant? Massages!