He Respects Women But Secretly Likes “Degrading” Them

Josh wrote: “Is it normal I like cumming on women’s faces? I know it’s something kind of “invented” by the porn industry, but I find it very satisfying. Not all woman are into it, but there is something about seeing my load all over a woman’s face that really turns me on. I truly have respect for women & believe in equality, but do you think I might secretly like “degrading” them for a small amount of time?”

Liz says: It sounds like you enjoy being dominant, with a tendency toward being aroused by humiliation. What’s interesting is that what turns us on is often not indicative of what we feel or believe in real life. It’s common to be aroused by sexual activities involving domination and submission, but to not be dominating or submissive in other ways. Sometimes there are even things that arouse us in fantasy but would disturb us in real life. It’s also normal for you to be a little confused by it; many people have a difficult time reconciling their sexual fantasies with who they are typically.

It’s often said that it’s the Type A Personality who runs 3 businesses who privately enjoys paying a Dominatrix to make him submissive. Or the person who fantasizes about a prison guard forcing a prisoner to do sexual “favors” would be totally horrified in real life if they saw that happen. Many of the things we find sexually arousing are only arousing if they remain fantasies and are never actually acted out. In other words, you might enjoy doing something degrading in the bedroom, but would never do anything that degrades or humiliates a woman in real life. It’s common for both men and women.

So as long as what you’re doing is consensual, you’re normal.