The Naked Advice

Model & Writer Liz LaPoint answers your questions about dating, sex, and relationships

G.S. wrote: “I love what you do on your blog. I am a naturist/nudist but I am still turned on by wanting to do CFnm situations (single so I can’t). Even though as I wrote I am so used to seeing naked females, I want to see them in control of me (with her and maybe her fellow girlfriends there, too). Is this normal for males to be turned on doing CFnm things?”

Liz says: Normal for a man with sexually submissive tendencies? Yes. For those who might be unaware, CFnm stands for Clothed Female/naked male. In the domination and submission world, the Dominatrix and his or her pronouns/title are often (but not always) capitalized to show authority and the submissive’s pronouns/titles are lowercase to symbolize they’re beneath the Domme.

In this case, CFnm refers to parties in which Clothed Females are served by naked men. The nude subs will act as bartenders, waiters, and butlers who are at the women’s beck and call. The subs will give foot massages, do some cleaning, and even act as furniture. Sexual activity may or may not occur, depending on the participants or the host’s rules.

So, GS, I can see why you’d be into this if you’re into Female Domination, and whether or not you’re a nudist is irrelevant. But there are a couple of things you say in your letter that I’m not sure I understand: why do you say you can’t participate in CFnm because you’re “single”? And why do you specify a “her”? Who is “her”? I don’t see that pronoun in reference to someone specific in your letter, like a girlfriend or someone you know.

Anyway, you wanted to know if your desire is normal and I’m here to say yes it is! Even for people who don’t identify as sexually submissive or dominant, elements of S&M are present in many people’s fantasies, role-playing, and regular sexual activities.

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4 thoughts on “Is He Normal To Be Turned On By CFNM?

  1. My guess is GS actually is referring to de femdom scenario as he is typing CFnm not CFNM. I think All Things CFNM is right in distinguishing between CFnm (femdom) and hen night live drawing for instance. In the last case i think the model would often be if not a ‘pro’ then at least a frequent modelling guy, who is also responsible for making the women feel relaxed (yet excited). That would make the power dynamic i slightly bit more complex, but still i think that he would even help the women feeling that dynamic, for instance by letting them being the ones removing his towel or something similar.

    If there was no power dynamic at all i would have a different time grasping the concept. For me its all about having the woman in the position where she can be controlling and even dominating through her femininity rather than in spite of it.

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  2. All Things CFNM says:

    Hey, it’s okay! It’s interesting that your readers submitting their fantasies are more into the fem-dom type of CFNM situation. Not very surprising, though, as many of those that are not into the more extreme types of femdom are often looking for softer middle-ground. CFNM oftentimes is that middle-ground.

    The power dynamic does exist in many CFNM scenarios/situations, but it’s more subtle. That subtlety exists because the female or female(s) are clothed and the male is not. If the woman is naked, too, then the whole dynamic disappears. There’s no “there” there.

    I think the best and most well-articulated description of CFNM comes from the person responsible with coining the acronym in the first place. He started a forum for persons like myself to meet, discuss, and share things with others with a common predilection for CFNM situations. It was first the Sensations 4 Women forum in it’s initial inception, but has since folded up it’s tent stakes and re-established itself at CFNMVillage.com.

    Here is a link to the story of CFNM, it’s history, and it’s contextual meaning: http://www.cfnmvillage.com/cfnm_story/index.html

    Hopefully this helps you and your readers to explore and understand this often misunderstood “fetish”.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. All Things CFNM says:

    Your reply is supportive, which from a counseling perspective, is great. However, I think you’re defining CFNM a bit too narrowly for this individual. CFNM doesn’t always involve a FemDom aspect. It can be a simple exhibitionism thing, where the naked male wants to be the object of appreciation or degradation by a clothed female or female(s). Guys being stripped by females, men stripping for clothed females, naked males flashing themselves in a consensual manner to a clothed female, nude massage, life drawing using a nude male model, etc. are all within the spectrum of what CFNM brings into the fold.

    I am incredibly heartened to see you’re tackling this issue though. CFNM isn’t well understood by many, if any. I appreciate your efforts!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I was unaware of the scenario you mention! All of the CFnm parties I had read about (and the fantasies I’d heard about from letter-writers to my blog) all focused on the domination and submission aspect. If submission doesn’t always play a role, and some men just enjoy being nude for exhibitionist reasons, why can’t the women be naked too? Why wouldn’t it just be naked parties, not clothed female/naked male parties? Doesn’t it symbolize a power dynamic with the women being clothed?

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