G.S. wrote: “I love what you do on your blog. I am a naturist/nudist but I am still turned on by wanting to do CFnm situations (single so I can’t). Even though as I wrote I am so used to seeing naked females, I want to see them in control of me (with her and maybe her fellow girlfriends there, too). Is this normal for males to be turned on doing CFnm things?”
Liz says: Normal for a man with sexually submissive tendencies? Yes. For those who might be unaware, CFnm stands for Clothed Female/naked male. In the domination and submission world, the Dominatrix and his or her pronouns/title are often (but not always) capitalized to show authority and the submissive’s pronouns/titles are lowercase to symbolize they’re beneath the Domme.
In this case, CFnm refers to parties in which Clothed Females are served by naked men. The nude subs will act as bartenders, waiters, and butlers who are at the women’s beck and call. The subs will give foot massages, do some cleaning, and even act as furniture. Sexual activity may or may not occur, depending on the participants or the host’s rules.
So, GS, I can see why you’d be into this if you’re into Female Domination, and whether or not you’re a nudist is irrelevant. But there are a couple of things you say in your letter that I’m not sure I understand: why do you say you can’t participate in CFnm because you’re “single”? And why do you specify a “her”? Who is “her”? I don’t see that pronoun in reference to someone specific in your letter, like a girlfriend or someone you know.
Anyway, you wanted to know if your desire is normal and I’m here to say yes it is! Even for people who don’t identify as sexually submissive or dominant, elements of S&M are present in many people’s fantasies, role-playing, and regular sexual activities.
The Naked Advice 
For over 10 years I have been doing the CFNM thing with my wife. I stay naked as log as possible during the day until she says “are you going to get dressed today”! At that time I get dressed. Then at night I get naked as soon as I can. She doesnt know about CFNM as she doesn’s realize it’s a fetish. She never reads about things like this and I just can’t tell her.
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I once had a voyeur neighbor. Like me, she was single, and she liked seeing naked men. One evening I called her over and, after a shower, I opened my robe. She didn’t move for at least a minute, when she finally said “Maybe we should go inside” . We did, but that moment had ended. I told her I was a nudist and would be happy to have her over whenever she wanted. She came a number of times, there was never anything sexual, just a voyeur woman and an exhibitionist man being neighborly.
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My guess is GS actually is referring to de femdom scenario as he is typing CFnm not CFNM. I think All Things CFNM is right in distinguishing between CFnm (femdom) and hen night live drawing for instance. In the last case i think the model would often be if not a ‘pro’ then at least a frequent modelling guy, who is also responsible for making the women feel relaxed (yet excited). That would make the power dynamic i slightly bit more complex, but still i think that he would even help the women feeling that dynamic, for instance by letting them being the ones removing his towel or something similar.
If there was no power dynamic at all i would have a different time grasping the concept. For me its all about having the woman in the position where she can be controlling and even dominating through her femininity rather than in spite of it.
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Hey, it’s okay! It’s interesting that your readers submitting their fantasies are more into the fem-dom type of CFNM situation. Not very surprising, though, as many of those that are not into the more extreme types of femdom are often looking for softer middle-ground. CFNM oftentimes is that middle-ground.
The power dynamic does exist in many CFNM scenarios/situations, but it’s more subtle. That subtlety exists because the female or female(s) are clothed and the male is not. If the woman is naked, too, then the whole dynamic disappears. There’s no “there” there.
I think the best and most well-articulated description of CFNM comes from the person responsible with coining the acronym in the first place. He started a forum for persons like myself to meet, discuss, and share things with others with a common predilection for CFNM situations. It was first the Sensations 4 Women forum in it’s initial inception, but has since folded up it’s tent stakes and re-established itself at CFNMVillage.com.
Here is a link to the story of CFNM, it’s history, and it’s contextual meaning: http://www.cfnmvillage.com/cfnm_story/index.html
Hopefully this helps you and your readers to explore and understand this often misunderstood “fetish”.
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Your reply is supportive, which from a counseling perspective, is great. However, I think you’re defining CFNM a bit too narrowly for this individual. CFNM doesn’t always involve a FemDom aspect. It can be a simple exhibitionism thing, where the naked male wants to be the object of appreciation or degradation by a clothed female or female(s). Guys being stripped by females, men stripping for clothed females, naked males flashing themselves in a consensual manner to a clothed female, nude massage, life drawing using a nude male model, etc. are all within the spectrum of what CFNM brings into the fold.
I am incredibly heartened to see you’re tackling this issue though. CFNM isn’t well understood by many, if any. I appreciate your efforts!!
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I was unaware of the scenario you mention! All of the CFnm parties I had read about (and the fantasies I’d heard about from letter-writers to my blog) all focused on the domination and submission aspect. If submission doesn’t always play a role, and some men just enjoy being nude for exhibitionist reasons, why can’t the women be naked too? Why wouldn’t it just be naked parties, not clothed female/naked male parties? Doesn’t it symbolize a power dynamic with the women being clothed?
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@ TheNakedAdvice;
It depends on the people involved. We have CFNM parties where the men are exhibitionist and enjoy being nude, the object of appreciation and center of attention. The women are normal women (ie not dominatrix types), who are comfortable with themselves and enjoy being with nude men. The women are often are divorced or widowed and miss the experience of having a male body around. Everyone acts as they would at a regular clothed party, with the exception that the men are nude and, sometimes, if both parties agree light touching by the women happens.
The reason the women are not naked (although sometimes they will undress partially or completely but usually not) is that the men are the objects of affection and desire, kind of a reversal of typical roles. There are other parties that are more nudist parties where everyone is nude or at least clothing is optional for all participants.
There are no set rules or anything just an unspoken understanding among adults. Just like other areas of life respect others, ask before you touch, no means no and be pleasant to be around.
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That makes sense. The men get to be the center of attention, because if everyone was nude then the women would steal attention from them? But that leads me to wonder why they only care about nude women stealing their thunder? Aren’t the men just competing for attention with each other then? In other words, if the guys into this aren’t submissive and only desire being the focus because they’re exhibitionists, why wouldn’t they prefer solo CFNM time?
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You bring some understanding to my situation, several years as a nude model for life drawing classes many bookings to pose at schools across 5 counties. On time to class, provide many poses for long stretches. Excepting any cancellations has done good for my reputation as a reliable model. Even while a pattern of Spontaneous erections while on the stand have become more predictable than spontaneous, persistent and vigorous. The response is to shut all open doors to hallways, close blackout window covering for the rest of class time. Lower inhibitions is happening?
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