The Naked Advice

Model & Writer Liz LaPoint answers your questions about dating, sex, and relationships

Mariah wrote: “I have an issue that I don’t know how to solve. My fiance wants me use a strap-on with him but I am conflicted. I want to please him but I am a submissive. I am not into role reversal that much. I love being dominated. I just feel like if I go through with pegging him he won’t be dominant anymore. Could you please help me I am just so conflicted.”

Liz says: Tell him exactly what you told me. Express your concerns that he will expect you to be the dominant one the majority of the time you two are having bedroom fun if you fulfill this desire of his, and you’re more aroused by being the submissive one.

In a healthy relationship, you can talk to each other openly and honestly about your concerns and desires, and you’re not punished for doing so. Plus, you’re willing to try new things to make your partner happy, unless those things are illegal or unethical. If you tell him you’re worried about how pegging him could change your sex life together, he has the chance to understand why you might have been avoiding it so far and a chance to calm your fears. Maybe this is only something he wants to try, as opposed to something he wants to regularly do.

The conversation could also help you two determine if you’re a good match for marriage. Sexual compatibility should be determined before walking down that aisle, as many divorced couples now know and wished they’d known before getting hitched.



One thought on “Engaged Couple Should Sort This Out Before Getting Married

  1. Steve says:

    I can very much relate to this. My wife and I do not have an explicitly sub/dom relationship but I am definitely the more dominant one. Being anally penetrated was something I badly wanted to try and she was very averse to it. It was difficult for me being denied something I badly wanted and frustrating for her to be asked to perform something she wasn’t comfortable with. So far she has done it twice ovdr 6 years. As much as i wish we could do it often i hace learned to live without it, our relationship did not suffer as sex in general is a relatively small component of our relationship. But if sex and sexual perception is a major part of this couple’s and both sides are uncompromising in their desire then that could well be a major issue.

    Liked by 1 person

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