George wrote: “Hello Miss Liz, I hope everything is going well. I’m an 18 year old male who is in high school. I generally value my studies highly over romantic relationships, but recently, I’ve been spending a lot of time looking up escorts on various websites or independent sites. I’ve even managed to talk with some of them through email, text, or phone calls. I think this is because school has been a bit tough these last few months, the few friends I have are away, and my parents are gone working most of the time so I feel rather lonely.
This may sound strange, but I don’t want to have sex with escorts, I just crave the touch of a woman. I haven’t actually gone to see an escort yet, but I have had a lot of thoughts going through my mind ever since I started looking and talking with the escorts. I feel like I am disrespecting such presumably lovely individuals in using them as an object for my pleasure. I also worry that I might get in serious trouble with the law or from my family and school as some of the escorts had requested to see my student ID. There is also the worry that the escort may do something horrible to me (i.e. drug me, take away my personal belongings, etc.). Ultimately, my question is, do you think I should go see an escort? I thought you could help me gain some insight as you seem rather open-minded with this sort of topic and for that I thank you.”
Liz says: No, I don’t think you should hire an escort.
All of your concerns are legitimate. You could be robbed, jailed, or drugged (although those risks are much higher for sex workers), but those aren’t the reasons I suggest you focus on your studies and personal growth instead of hiring escorts.
You’ve expressed feelings of unease with the idea of actually hiring an escort, feelings that I think are understandable and a sign of good character. She might be comfortable with selling herself in this way, but you’re not comfortable with using her in this way, even if it is just cuddling. You’re a newly legal adult, which means you’ve barely given yourself a chance to navigate the dating world and learn how to be alone, living a fulfilling life without a partner. We are all lonely sometimes, and that’s okay, but sometimes we fill that loneliness with unhealthy habits or activities, like overeating or alcohol. Learn to fill your loneliness with healthy things, like running or joining a local meet-up group. It’s through living a vibrantly active life we meet likeminded people and potential partners.
I know it’s tempting because it’s easier to chat with escorts than it is to actually step up your game with girls at school, where you face possible rejection. I urge you not to let real life fears keep you from developing social skills that can lead to real romance. I would suggest setting up a profile on an online dating app before encouraging you to hire escorts.
And by the way, it’s not strange that you really just want to “feel a woman’s touch”. Many prostitutes have told of being hired only to cuddle or even just be a confidante. But you don’t want a woman who’s only listening to you or holding you because she was paid to. Once you develop a busy life and learn to be happy on your own, you will meet women who want to do those things with you because they like your company and they’re attracted to you!