George wrote: “Greetings from New York! I am 18 years old. I hope you’ve been doing well and I want to say thank you for the advice and points of view you give on these taboo topics. I have something (I’m not sure whether to call it a kink or fetish) where I love to wrestle girls, without hurting them of course. When I wrestle with girls, the adrenaline and endorphins in my head multiply by a thousand-fold, especially when they’re wearing something that shows a lot of skin (like a bikini or sports bra) and their curves (ie. yoga pants). I also love watching videos or seeing pictures of men wrestling with women. I do get turned on by the bare skin on skin contact (such as smothering), the sheer athleticism the girl exhibits as she exerts her physical strength to get me to submit to her, and for some reason losing feels wonderful. Sometimes I fantasize about the wrestler showing even more female domination after I lose such as pegging, slapping, or facesitting me. My questions regarding this is how common is this interest? Would you consider this a kink or a fetish and if so what type is it? Am I being disrespectful to women when I admire a female wrestler’s looks and her strength? Thanks for all your help and keep on smiling.”
Liz says: What you’re into falls under the umbrella term Female Domination, and yes it’s common. Specifically wrestling women and wanting them to win is probably less common, but getting aroused by female strength and aggression isn’t rare.
Is it a kink or a sexual fetish? A kink is something atypical that you find arousing but does not exist as an exclusive means for arousal and orgasm. Many people are turned on by several unrelated things, for example bondage, swapping sex partners, and short dark hair or mustaches. A fetish, however, is necessary for arousal and orgasm, usually to the exclusion of other possible turn-ons, and involves an object (leather fetish, foot fetish), or a situation (public sex, cuckolding). If the needed object or situation is unavailable, the person with a fetish has to fantasize about said fetishized object or situation in order to orgasm. So now that you know the difference, only you can answer whether or not it’s a kink or a fetish.
As far as whether or not you’re being disrespectful when you “admire a female wrestler’s looks and her strength”, it depends. Are you admiring those qualities to the exclusion of her other qualities? Do you focus only on how muscular or pretty she is? When she speaks, do you tune out because you don’t care what she has to say, unless it’s to tell you what a loser you are, thus satisfying your submissive tendencies? In other words, do you only “respect” women insofar as how they can serve your sexual desires by playing the dominant role?
Everyone likes to be admired for their skills, strengths, etc, but we truly appreciate it when we are seen as whole individuals. Women specifically are more prone to being treated as if their worth lies in how beautiful they are, so we are more sensitive to being put into that box where our other attributes may be ignored.
What you’re into seems like harmless fun, and you can find a girlfriend who will enjoy wrestling you into submission and then sitting on your face, but just remember to appreciate all of her 😉