The Naked Advice

Model & Writer Liz LaPoint answers your questions about dating, sex, and relationships

Ty wrote: “I have been masturbating until I feel like I’m going to orgasm and then stopping or slowing down; like trying to control my orgasm. Sometimes I will do this all day and have an orgasm 8-12 hours later, edging with breaks to do stuff around the house. Other times I will edge for a few days and finally have an edging session where I finish. It seems like this has recently become a mainstream fetish. Is this true? Have you or will you try edging? I would like to know your experience with this. Are there any health risks? I heard it could enlarge your prostate or decrease sensitivity if you do it too much. Are there any techniques that you know of? I usually try to go as slow as possible by not “chasing” my orgasm and completely relaxing my PC muscle. Can women also relax their muscles to extend their orgasm?”

Liz says: I contacted Dr. Susie Gronski, a physiotherapist, to help me help you, Ty (click here to visit her website). She is better equipped to handle some of your questions. Here is what she had to say:

“Egding, if done with conscious practice, can be quite liberating. Whether or not it’s mainstream, well that depends on what you’re reading and who you’re talking to. This practice has been adopted and tweaked from ancient Hindu and Buddhist practices of Tantra and is more widely associated in western culture as tantric sex and not so much the actual, spiritual practice of Tantra.

There’s no literature, to my knowledge, that proves edging or withholding from orgasm is “harmful” for your body. Edging is a concept that can enhance your sexual vigor and vitality. However, the question remains, are you edging correctly? When withholding an orgasm you want to make sure that you’re not stopping an orgasm from happening while it’s happening. This disrupts the natural flow of things and may potentially cause retrograde ejaculation. When a man orgasms, the muscles surrounding the bladder neck tighten to prevent semen from entering the bladder and the fluid is diverted into the penile urethra ready for action. If you’re building up sexual arousal over multiple times per day or over multiple days, what happens to the fluids that were prepped to be loaded? So, you want to make sure that you’re not building too much sexual arousal and tension without ejaculating as this can create fluid retention around the prostate and testicles which can lead to testicular or abdominal pain. You know the saying “blue balls”? Yup, that’s it. It’s prolonged sexual arousal without ejaculation. If you’ve ever had a case of the blue balls you know it’s not the greatest feeling in the world.

When you orgasm, your pelvic floor muscles have to spasmodically contract to expel semen and prostatic fluids. That’s how they work. So I would encourage you to work your pelvic floor muscles in both ways, relaxed and contracted. When should you contract? When you want to finish and get your big O. Use your pelvic floor muscles to enhance your orgasmic experience and relax when you want to last longer, build up sexual energy and be more mindful in the moment.

There are also a lot of nerve endings and neurological processes that occur when a man or woman gets aroused. Doing too much of anything isn’t always a good idea. There’s got to be a healthy balance. I would be curious to study if repetitive relaxation after induced sexual arousal would cause a dampening of sensation or an inability to get aroused. Sorta like the boy who cried wolf situation if you catch my drift. Women can also control their orgasm just like men can. They essentially have the same muscles down there just different parts. To put it in a female’s perspective, it’s like using a vibrator on the clitoris. At first, you don’t need much stimulation or intensity to feel good but after a while the nervous system adapts and then requires more and more stimulation and intensity to get the same pleasure feeling and achieve orgasm.

So in my opinion, varying sexual activities and changing it up from time to time is best sex practice or using techniques that challenge your sexual tastebuds without stopping the normal flow or physiological processes from occurring like orgasms.”

So there you have it, Ty, straight from the doctor! As far as your question about whether I’ve personally tried edging: No, I wouldn’t enjoy the frustration 😉

Check out Dr. Susie’s book: Pelvic Pain, The Ultimate Cock Block

And Follow her on Twitter and Instagram!

Risk- yes:no

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