The Naked Advice

Model & Writer Liz LaPoint answers your questions about dating, sex, and relationships

Mark wrote: “I’m worried a partner would want to have a hallpass or a threesome, and I’m not okay with that at all. It makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong or they need to be able to have better sex that I could provide or something. Am I doing something wrong if I’ll never consent to anyone else in the bedroom?”

Liz says: It says a lot about how modern society views sex and relationships when I start getting questions like this. Are we so pessimistic about love and commitment that we now assume that our partners will absolutely desire being with others, before the relationship even begins? And this belief that it’s normal to want a “hall pass”, thus there must be something wrong with you for not wanting an open relationship?

Look, everyone is different. There are happy polyamorous relationships, happy open marriages, and happy committed couples. If you want to be with someone who values total commitment as you do, then make that a priority when dating. There’s nothing wrong with you for wanting only one partner and wanting your partner to only want you.

Couple-in-love-and-red-heart-in-hands

 

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3 thoughts on “He Would Never Be Okay With His Partner Having a “Hall Pass”

  1. Mark says:

    I’m sorry if it was a stupid question. I just felt anxiety as I read more about sex because there seemed to be so much that I don’t feel I can provide. I was also in a situation where a partner did try to pressure and guilt me into letting them sleep with other people. Thankfully nothing came of it, but they made it seem like I wasn’t worth much sexually and that’s stuck with me. Thank you for weighing in Liz, I hope everything is going well with you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Not a stupid question! Don’t let one person’s suggestions and pressure affect your self-worth and esteem. Learn from it and grow 🙂

      Like

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