Steve wrote: “My wife has this fantasy of having sex at one of our parent’s houses, which really means mine since they have spare bedrooms. We were over for a weekend and she kept asking. The thought of doing it in the same house of my parents made me frankly want to vomit. I’m having a lot of trouble relating to this fantasy. I understand perhaps a voyeuristic aspect of doing it in a friend’s house, but like, family members??
Am I not normal in feeling so weird about this? Is this fantasy normal on her part?”
Liz says: Relax, you’re both normal!
I suspect that the fantasy comes from her teen years, when she and her then-boyfriend had to sneak around excitedly to find a secluded room to make out. Horny teens don’t have their own place so they resort to getting by with making out in their bedrooms, even if their parents are home, or in their cars, or the locker room at school. In other words, maybe she’s turned on at the thought of re-creating the thrill of trying to quietly get a quickie?
And it’s understandable that for you, the thought of any family being around and possibly hearing or interrupting you two is a boner-killer. You’re both normal!
You two are married, which means you should be able to talk to each other about intimate matters in depth. Have you asked her why she has this fantasy? Have you explained how it grosses you out? After discussing it, I’m sure you can come to a compromise. Maybe your suggestion of a friend’s house could excite her, too.