Gary wrote: “I would like to ask such an obvious question that I don’t know if it has been asked? After I cum (from either having sex or masturbating) how come I feel so tired and physically can’t move? I do literally just want to sleep.”
Liz says: Do you lie down on your back in your bed with the lights out? All three signal to your mind that it’s time for sleep, and if it’s night and the end of a long hard day, that’s a perfect recipe for a snooze fest.
Plus, we engage a lot of muscles during sex, whether masturbating or with a partner. Those muscles get a workout, so it makes sense relaxing them afterward would make someone feel mellow or sleepy.
But the main culprits are hormones. Prolactin is released during orgasm and it suppresses dopamine, the hormone responsible for making us feel more alert. Add to that the hormone oxytocin, which is released anytime we are connecting with others and known as the “feel-good” hormone. The combination helps you calm down, relieving anxiety and aiding sleep. Women don’t produce as much prolactin during orgasm as men do, so this explains why it tends to be men who want to fall asleep right after sex.
So for those times you’d rather stay awake try keeping the lights on, not lying on your back, and doing it somewhere other than on the bed. That might help!