Adam wrote: “So I was adopted from another country and my parents brought me to the United States. They were very European and decided not to circumcise me. I have heard that it’s a major turn off to girls. But I have also heard that girls really like it. I have never had an issue with cleaning it. But what’s the best way to help girls understand or at least not turn away in disgust when they find out I’m not cut?
And do you think that the opinion of cut vs uncut is changing? I’ve seen more men in porn and on chaturbate that have uncut penises. Thoughts?”
Liz says: If a woman acts disgusted or weirded out by your perfectly natural, un-mutilated body, ask her “Do you wish your parents had asked a doctor to slice off your labia when you were a newborn, or do you appreciate that they didn’t and prefer to just keep your genitals clean?”
If a woman finds your uncircumcised penis a turn-off and she can’t comprehend your point, dump her. Move on quickly and don’t look back. How would she feel about a man who took a look at her labia and was disgusted?
Americans have been bamboozled in a lot of ways, and the belief that routine male infant circumcision is necessary as a preventive measure for good health is one of them. Every supposed reason someone names for why it’s a good thing could be applied to females, too. For example, females would suffer from fewer urinary tract infections too if we didn’t have all that extra skin down there. So why don’t we also perform routine infant circumcision on baby girls?
The answer is that it started as a way to prevent teenaged boys from wanting to masturbate. They used to believe over a century ago that if boys didn’t have that foreskin that aided masturbation, it wouldn’t feel as good and they’d be less likely to masturbate. This is why whenever I hear a guy claim he’s “glad” he was circumcised, I point out that while I’m glad he doesn’t seem to be traumatized by it, he doesn’t know what he’s missing. In other words, it’s easier to be okay with it when you don’t know and never will know how much better sex could be had you not had a certain body part removed when you were born.
So basically, routine male circumcision began with the goal of controlling boys’ sexuality and then in order to convince society to continue once people started questioning the practice, they came up with all sorts of health benefits to justify it. These health benefits, by the way, could be utilized by simply keeping your genitals clean and practicing safe sex, exactly the way women do it. Wearing condoms, washing properly, abstinence until marriage, not putting foods or douches into your genitals, etc, also reduce your chances of having UTI’s, STD’s and cancer. Should we burn off the skin on our hands if it reduces the spread of germs, or should we just wash our hands regularly?
(I’m excluding the religious reasons for routine infant circumcision because most of the U.S. population is not Jewish, so the reasons it has become customary in the U.S. with Christians and non-religious people are going to be different than the reason Jewish people do it.)
Rates have gone down in the U.S. as more and more people stop to actually think about what they’ve been told, so you are less alone than you realize here. One compelling reason more parents are opting out is because they understand that they shouldn’t have the right to remove a part of their child’s body without his consent when there is no medically necessary justification for it. If their son wants to have it removed when he is old enough to make that decision, that’s his right, but it should be up to him.
Here is the official statement on routine male circumcision by the American Academy of Pediatrics: “After a comprehensive review of the scientific evidence, the American Academy of Pediatrics found the health benefits of newborn male circumcision outweigh the risks, but the benefits are not great enough to recommend universal newborn circumcision.“
While the AAP says the benefits outweigh the risks, I don’t see how it’s worth risking your son losing his penis just to possibly prevent future infections (infections he could have just prevented with safe sex and cleanliness). It may be rare, but botched circumcisions happen. For one particularly depressing example, read here about David Reimer.
So to summarize my thoughts on the matter: don’t let anyone make you feel “dirty” or less attractive because your penis wasn’t irreversibly altered when you were born. Love your body and only date women who also love your body (there are plenty of women who love natural penises)!