The Naked Advice

Model & Writer Liz LaPoint answers your questions about dating, sex, and relationships

Freddie wrote: “Is it ever a bad thing to be attached to someone who is so loving and good to me but has suicidal thoughts every now and then?”

Liz says: I think it’s crucial to know the difference between someone who has battled depression or other mental illnesses, sometimes culminating in suicidal ideation, and someone who has controlling/abusive tendencies and cries wolf about wanting to commit suicide in order to manipulate their partner into doing what they want.

The former has genuine emotional and mental health issues that can be difficult for their partner to handle but for the most part behaves lovingly and is worthy of empathy and understanding. The latter, however, is someone who is toxic and possibly even a psychopath.

Does this person scream suicide every time you’re about to do something they don’t want you to do? Do your emotional needs take a backseat to their needs too often? Do they create needless drama by overreacting to perceived slights? Or are they dealing with very real issues that make them feel hopeless about their future, but behave as a loving partner to you? Based on what you’ve said, it sounds like they are struggling with real problems and are otherwise a good partner to you.

These are great detailed lists of information regarding suicide:

Learn to ACT

If your partner is struggling with very real emotional or mental health issues but they’re not seeking treatment, they can find it here:

And in an emergency they can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

You should always take threats of suicide seriously, regardless of whether they are trying to manipulate you or really want to end their lives, but remember that it’s not your fault if someone attempts or commits suicide.

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