J.O. wrote: “Hey Liz, so I have a shrinking fetish and I told my girlfriend about it but she does not like acknowledging it. She says it’s weird and she doesn’t like it. I have brought up my shrinking fetish to some other friends that are girls and they actually talk about it with me. They like to talk to me about how life would be like and how our current relationship as friends would change. I sometimes feel weird doing this because I feel like I’m low key cheating on my girlfriend, but besides just talking there are no actions being taken on actually cheating. What should I do about this?”
Liz says: When you say your female friends talk about how your “current relationship as friends would change” when they discuss it with you, do you mean they talk about wanting to participate in activities that incorporate your shrinking fetish? If not, then keep in mind it’s easy for friends to discuss something they aren’t expected to partake in like a girlfriend would be expected to.
Either way, your girlfriend’s attitude is what really matters here. It appears you have two choices: accepting that your lady finds something about you weird and won’t be satisfying any fantasies you have in that department, or deciding it’s important to be with someone who doesn’t find it weird and will be more open-minded about it. Which way you go depends on whether this is an actual fetish for you or simply a kink you’re aroused by, and how much you love your girlfriend and how solid your relationship is with each other in every other aspect.
I will say this though: Oftentimes it’s when we’re around other people that we recognize what’s missing in our current relationships. Your friends are serving you the realization that there are openminded women out there who won’t call you weird and refuse to acknowledge your desire. Listen to your instincts.