The Naked Advice

Model & Writer Liz LaPoint answers your questions about dating, sex, and relationships

Sergio wrote: “Hi Liz, I often get compliments on the way I look, dress, and work out, but I’m still not confident about myself. That’s because I’m still a virgin. I’m a 21-year-old guy now, and I sometimes really feel the need to have sex. I kinda feel ashamed when I mention the topic of sex with my friends. Sometimes I really have had enough of waiting. What can I do?”

Liz says: Your twenties are for a lot of things: dating, “finding” yourself, learning a trade or getting a college degree, and having fun before bigger responsibilities come along. When you focus on these things instead of focusing on getting laid, getting laid will happen naturally because people find you more attractive when you’re just enjoying life and working to get ahead.

Enriching your life through education, work, and hobbies makes you more appealing than someone who might be giving off the scent of desperation, which most people can smell a mile away. In other words, who cares that you’re “still” a virgin? Have fun with your friends, join a meet up group in your area, and just enjoy your life. You’ll find someone soon enough.

**I want to add a note about your use of the phrase “enough of waiting”, because it implies that you feel as if you are owed sex and you’re frustrated that women are withholding it from you. If that’s not the case, then great, but if it does then you need to understand nobody owes you anything. As an example, imagine if someone said “I’m still unmarried and I’ve had enough of waiting”. Or “I haven’t been hired for a job and I’ve had enough of waiting”. Nobody owes you a job, nobody owes you their life as your spouse, and nobody owes you sex. Those are things you work for, through self-improvement, or education, or learning social skills.

impatient man



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